why my college in middle of nowhere

FUCK CENGAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

College started fully for me! I've been super lazy for updating because I've been exploring campus and hanging out. It's weird because I'm not in NYC anymore and now upstate in the middle of nowhere. I'm gonna write a blog post right after I finish a couple assignments, I am in my college's library. I find that doing work in the library is 10x more efficient than doing work in my dorm room.

I haven't updated in a while but I'm fully moved in. And classes start today. It's been an eventful week and I met cool people. I was alone in my dorm until yesterday when my roommates moved in.

tommorow i move to college, my move in day is pretty early compared to everyone else

my uncle died, and it's really hurt my mom this year she had to bury ah-gong and now likely her brother too. we just came back from taiwan and in taiwan it didnt seem like and he was full of life and hung out with us plenty, my grandfathers death had an effect on him strongly. it happened so randomly my mom and dad were helping me pack for college and suddenly my cousins called and broke the news. they called at 1 pm, which is 1am for them. they had just called 911 and they called my mom because my mom has always been their mother figure- this borders on oversharing a ton but my cousins dont have a mom and have really unfortunate upbringings (have been in and out of jail) so much so that there is some animosity whenever they see me. i speculate that to them, we are sheltered, incredibly fortunate, and annoying educated. i used to despise one of my cousins because i saw him as lazy, never finding a job and bad tempered. but now, i can only imagine the tears i cried are only a fraction of the tears they want to cry. they aren't allowed to cry, though, because taiwanese men can't show emotion. they don't have anyone anymore, and they were the ones to find their father.

12 hours ago i wrote about how annoyed i was at my mom and listed my petty dissatisfactions with her, geniunely how retarded could i be. looking at the lines of texts under the closing paragraph tag and the div tag i use for dates shows me ranting like a douche about how my mom was probably targetted by good for nothing retarded app creators trying to get 10 bucks from unsuspecting people. mama singlehandedly carried her own weight in two sexist asian societies when she moved to japan alone to study, and now shit cant even let her relax as shes nearing retirement, "shit" includes me, because why'd i'd get mad at her for basically nothing?

learning about how my mom falls for shitty AI stuff is probably the best anti-AI ad ever. my mom is very un-tech savvy and today my dad got an email about getting charged like 10 bucks for some piano app, and likely what happened is the scummy app told my mom that it was a "free trial" then auto charged her after a day. then we also saw she started a free trial for a bum copy-cat chatgpt app called "ai smith" which she started last monday and WOULD'VE renewed tmr if i didnt find it and cancelled it. my mom uses AI for her work (shes a TA for elementary school) and it actually frustrates me and i try telling her to stop using AI so much and being so dependent. she was able to make worksheets for 10-15 years without AI, so i dont know why the fuck she needs to use it now. i kind of crashed out at her and i feel pretty bad for it. i think one of the reasons i got so mad is because i really fucking hate spending money (in general) and recently it feels like my mom has become really dull to certain things (in all honesty its probably because she is super stressed from family matters) she likes LABUBUS of all things and bought a couple (luckily for cheap) my sister says "if she likes it its fine" and sure wtv but i hate seeing my mom who is usually savvy with money fall into some ultra dumb false scarcity trap. good news is shes not really interested in the "blind box" aspect (gambling) she just likes that they look cute. but 28 dollars for THAT is absurd.

i rediscovered this song i used to have on loop in my freshman yr (2022) genuinely scary that its over 3 years ago. this song (yt link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QprnVxCveSY)
and i made this playlist when i was going through it bad playlist

my dad fried the speaker to the laptop we got for college that i didnt even get to use yet! he's usually tech savvy but he tried a usb-c charger that was over voltage and fried the port AND the speaker

wow i kind of hate you, do you think you are better than me? do you think you are better than everyone else? "look at all these books i've read" do you mean look at all these tiktoks i've scrolled?

im actually shocked at how many ppl use afterpay because its not smart, especially since its young ppl using it. afterpay takes adavantage of the financially illterate and makes them think they have more money than they think they have. because if you fianace an 100 dollar purchase into 4 month installments and you have 150 dollars in your account, after the first payment, to many ppl it looks like you still have 125 dollars left. good news though: klarna and afterpay are not making a profit, hope to see those companies just die soon

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6/18

got skirk lol and this crazy near 50 cv piece

6/17

bruhhh i just rolled my ankle from landing wrong in volleyball yesterday (which was the last day of class) now it sucks cus i cant hang out and graduation is coming and over the summer im overseas

6/15

Tankies piss me off. i need to finish the hsr quest i like that new cat bunny mem thing but im lazy i need the gems tho i want cipher

6/5

stuff that annoys me part 2

Friends who treat you as disposable This goes for mainly people who you are loosely connected with, but sometimes it happens with people you consider close friends. Sometimes they don't even notice, but they'll have you there for convenience, not always in exchange for something material but for convenient presence and conversation. Maybe as emotional baggage. Someone I wasn't even close to when I was 14 ranted to me about some pretty crazy stuff

Stinkers
Ok I get it in hot weather people are gonna sweat and stuff and not everyone will smell like flowers everyday but how is it gonna be winter in clear weather and you still smell like shit bro did you forget to shower. Does not help that I'm in an engineering class

P.S: i moved part 2 to this page instead of the blog page where part 1 is

6/3

Also, ngl the neocities “special sauce” website browser is pretty shit. Ik the creator doesn't want to create some social media algorithm which is chill but just make the default website browser set to random or most recently updated. Even the “random” method of sorting doesn't seem to work

6/2

tbh the indieweb community has very similar, echo chamber beliefs (no offense) If you're not a liberal or leaning left on the political spectrum (like socialists and communists) you're not really part of the “yesterweb, indieweb” movement and get ostracized. (I mean I'm saying this as someone who leans american liberal myself.) It hasn't happened to me, but when every site kind of has the same manifesto saying… “the internet was so much better in 2000s, but now 5 corporations own everything!” I agree with you but it's just kinda boring. The old internet was all about free speech and saying whatever the fuck u want, (even hate speech.. A lot of that stuff is one reason im kinda grateful for the 'new internet') so why does it feel like everyone has the same thing to say. Even as i write this blog i'm worried someone may read this and add me to some ‘neocities blacklist from the cool kids' LMAO. Theres a lot of “I hate america america must burn” and maybe i'm just a naive teenager but… i don't really agree? A lot of media teenage americans consume nowadays just screams at you about how evil and gross america is, mainly because america is just always under a microscope, and tiktokers have engineered their videos to spread negativity about politics. I just don't like echo chambers and feel like people should hear different beliefs that challenge them. I want to speak my beliefs without needing shitty labels

5/15

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my last AP exam is tmr
going to the park instead of studying
im kind of getting confused on how i want my site to look esp this log page

5/1

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today is national college decision day! i struggled with my decision a lot but now thats its all over i have to go to all the colleges i applied to and decline them. (feels good to be the one on the other side!) I applied to around 23 colleges, but half of them are safeties that i didnt even want to apply to but it was free to apply and i just wanted to see what would happen.

4/26

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i hate musescore trying to always charge me for downloading sheet music, so i made a tutorial on how you can download sheet music for free. its on my front page

4/21

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if social media destroys itself, the internet will rebuilt itself. things are meant to be destroyed and rebuilt, its only natural

4/19

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these days, i've been overeating a lot, idk why but at night dinner isn't enough for me anymore

4/13

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day 15, my parents just came back, at around 10pm. technically my mom has been gone for 4 weeks and my dad 2 weeks, but it doesnt feel like much has changed. (probably since i was in school) today (before my parents came home) i went out for a run after taking a break for a week.

4/12

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day 14, parents coming back tmr. i am so bored, rainy and gloomy all week and all i did today was play bubble gum sim on vc. actually so bored ive been washing dishes and cooking on call to my friends

4/11

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day 13, i really locked in for this website, i made the homepage and blog mobile friendly (sort of) and added some cool features like the bio. i feel hella bored and kinda like a bum since i've just stayed inside yesterday and today

4/10

day 12, i spent the entire day lazing around doing nothing and resting and i was pretty bored. i worked on this site some more. my aunt brought beef stew

4/9

day 11, SPRING BREAK IS HERE. kind of longg day at school i had club so i got home late, even though i so wished i could just go home for the day. in volleyball gym class im finally in a team with my friends

4/8

day 10, spring break is almost here. mine starts on 4/10 (techincally it starts later, but i have thur and friday off since the lower grades have testing) so tommorow will be the last day. its supposed to be spring but in my area it sure doesnt fucking feel like it today it was below freezing... i think when the weather gets better i will feel more energize. it's been hard for me to get energy to even hang out these days

4/7

day 9, man my teacher be pissing me off bro, 3rd quarter is done for school, just 4th quarter left. currently deciding what college i wanna go to. yesterday was my grandpa's funeral, my mom and dad said they would try and facetime, but they were unable to

4/6

day 8, my aunt took me and my sister out to lunch we had turkish food it was really good. i went home and played roblox. now its 11:51 pm and i need to do my homework

4/5

day 7, i watched the minecraft movie my theater was PACKED and was so hype and loud just watch this clip. I also went to piano class today and had to walk in the rain since my dad wasnt here to drive me

TECHNOBLADE

4/4

day 6, i went to mcdonalds with a couple friends today and watched them buy the minecraft meal. i tried the nether sauce and it tastes pretty good like sriracha

4/3

day 5, today was very lazy and this weather was awful so i went straight home (it was 40 degrees in the morning then a gross humid and wet 70 in the afternoon) my aunt brought hong kong food for us 👍 👍

4/2

day 4, i overslept badly and woke up at 8:40 instead of 6:40. after school i went to a club meeting (lwk dont like that club) then i played volleyball at a park. my friends bought a net, but it was so cold

4/1

day 3, back to school today, since yesterday was a day off. i didnt sleep well and napped in many of my classes. its 10:50 pm rn my parents facetime'd to have a quick prayer for my grandpa in taiwan. my dad looked tired and jetlagged and shaken up, but we made sure to exchange heartfelt messages

3/31

day 2, i went to a friends house and played marvel rivals on his xbox, and then we went to the park and ate pizza. my aunt brought chinese food so i ate that when i got home

3/30

day 1 home without my parents, i slept late and ate some leftovers. thinking i should clean up log every couple months

3/27

broo are u serious

3/15

been so out of it i got stomach flu last week

3/9

bro why are the days going by so fast
on my soul ts fire

2/26

i dont watch much nba but i saw some highlights for the lakers vs mavericks. very nice

2/22/2025

my break about to end and tmr im getting my other 2 wisdom teeth removed

2/14/2025

FUCK!!!!

2/9/2025

my calc (those who know) teacher is chill

2/7/2025

i was late to class everyday (exception of weds since i had a presentation first thing in the morning) and today (friday morning) i walked into class 45 minutes late and my teacher indirectly called me out, said "guys, just because you already presented, doesn't mean you should come to class nearly an hour late" honeslty it was pretty funny but still 😭.

2/3/2025

its been a week since my last entry. that week has been quite eventful actually, i celebrated chinese new year doing the usual stuff like praying and eating dinner with family.

the first semester of my senior year just ended, and the second one just started and im catching BAD senioritis. it was sort of thrilling, in my previous three years of highschool and everytime i was late i would scramble and stress, skipping breakfast to catch the train, but last week thursday i woke up like 40 minutes late and kinda just laid there, and for once the sun was already up by the time i woke up. i shouldn't let this become a habit but it feels nice that i get more leeway now im a senior, haha. anyways this weekend i went to pennsylvania to ski also for chinese new year, and we stayed over at my friends house, and did some things. here are some photos i took:

1/26/2025

the other day i went out of state to visit family in the suburbs, as much as my fellow americans like to clown suburbia, there really is a charm to it. So much space to play sports, plenty of amazing terrain to jog and go on walks. beautiful scenary... and its so quiet. suburbs are really different from state to state and area to area, and people have valid complaints about walkability; but disregarding all of that i felt very giddy just running around in the snow (that always turns yellow from dog pee or black from dirt in the city... gross). unfortunately, today i got my wisdom teeth removed, and it hurt like hell. i could barely hop onto my piano for my daily practice because i needed to press ice onto my cheek... snow angel i made

1/24/2025

ive been playing final fantasy 14 recently and this game is so fire, i love mmorpgs but why do the two most popular, WOW and FF14 need a monthly subscription??? it probably has something to do with preventing bots but i wish it was just a buy one time thing!! its also not like the games don't have cash shops, like cmon

1/20/2025

we got some very nice snow in my city! my dad pulled out a canon sd40 along with a camcorder and said i could use them, so today i took some photos with the slightly broken camera (it keeps getting the lens error but i just restart it and pray it works) i took some photos, and i wanted to upload them to this site but needed to find a SD card reader. Here are some photos i took: (very blurry haha)

me!!